All gave some, some gave all

Gone, but not forgotten. 7-5-07.


Three years ago today, our friend Jeremy Allbaugh was killed in Iraq by a roadside bomb. I remember that day like it was yesterday. I was in Florida visiting Mick while he was home for the 4th. It was about 3 months before our wedding. We had a blast that day... probably at the beach if I'm remembering correctly and we went back to his mom's house to get ready to go out for the night. Mick got a phone call right before we walked out the door and I could instantly tell by the look on his face that it was something bad.... VERY bad. His face just went pale and as he hung up the phone he took a few steps backwards and leaned his body against the back of the couch so his legs didnt give out on him. He was shaking and his eyes were welling up. I knew someone had gotten either severely injured or killed and I just looked at him and asked "who?" and he said it was Allbaugh.




He instantly started thinking of mutual friends we had that he should call to tell them the news, but most of the guys that were with them in maryland were deployed. He asked me for some of the wives' numbers, so they could relay the info for him, but I told him I would handle it, because I knew it was harder on him than me. I had only met Allbaugh a handful of times, whereas Mick worked with him on a daily basis for a couple years at Pax River, so I took it upon myself to do the calling, so Mick could just have a few minutes to himself instead of having to deliver the bad news over and over. I was really close with two of the wives - Stacy and Erin. Both of their husbands were on their first deployment which was a MEU, with a 3 month stop in Iraq (i believe.. stace if that's wrong, let me know!) I decided to call them and I can easily say those were 2 of THE hardest calls I've ever had to make and I hope I never have to make a call like that again. Unfortunately, with this lifestyle, it probably wont be the last time. I remember calling Stacy first. I wasnt sure how to tell someone that our friend had died, and I certainly didnt know how to tell one of my closest friends, who is worried about the same thing happening to her own husband, because he is deployed and in the same situation. I just remember at first, she was in shock, and then she was in tears, and then she was hysterical. Partly because our friend was gone, and partly, i'm sure, because it just made it that much more real and that much more scary that her own husband was over there (or going there.. if they hadnt made it to iraq yet) My call to Erin wasnt much different. Lots of tears were shed as her and her husband were both good friends with Jeremy and Erin's husband was also deployed. It took everything I had not to break down in tears myself, but Mick, Stacy and Erin were all crying and I felt like I needed to stay strong for them. After hanging up with Erin, I hugged Mick for a few minutes and then excused myself to the bathroom. I shut the door and then just dropped to the floor and cried for a few minutes. It scared me. I was about to marry a military man. This was about to be the life I was going to be a part of. A life where goodbyes are inevitable, family is far away, friends come and go, "home" is only temporary and changes every few years, and death is a constant fear and unfortunately also a reality. I sat there just thinking to myself "am I strong enough for this??"




Mick must have heard me sniffling in the bathroom, because he came and knocked on the door and gave me a hug and told me thank you and that he was proud of me. We spent a lot of the next few days hunting up pictures we had of Jeremy and putting together video clips of him and his "peanut butter jelly" dance (haha still makes me laugh when i see it!) My brother made a video for our wedding... you know, one of those videos with pics of me growing up from baby til now and then pictures of mick as a baby and growing up. For the pictures of Mick, my brother used the song "Proud to be an American" For the last line, that slowly sings "God Bless the USA" he put a picture of Mick, with Jeremy and a couple other friends. He put that one on there last, because he knew how much that picture meant to Mick, which I thought was really sweet and I love my brother for it, but unfortuntely, it turned our happy wedding rehearsal into a swimming pool of tears, because none of the guys knew that picture was coming. After the song ended and the picture faded, all the guys in our wedding (who were all Marines that knew Allbaugh, but one) got up and walked outside so no one saw them cry. I think they needed it. Our wedding was the first time Mick had seen some of those guys in awhile and the first time he'd seen any of them since Allbaugh's death. I think it was good for them to have that moment and be able to mourn and remember him together. I think it helped them all cope with it a litte.

It's been three years now and we have not and will not ever forget Cpl Jeremy D Allbaugh. He was a good guy, a good friend and a great Marine. RIP buddy. We miss ya!