Chemical Pregnancy

some information I found for anyone who might not really know what a chemical pregnancy is. I had never heard of them until I had one. It IS a real pregnancy and it is a real miscarriage, so if you think someone who had a chemical pregnancy doesn't have a right to be upset about it, think again. I got this info on about.com

A chemical pregnancy is like a cruel joke. You take an early pregnancy test around the time your period is due that shows a faint positive. Naturally, you get excited and start spreading the joyful news that you're expecting. Then, a few days later you get your period and the doctor says, "It was just a chemical pregnancy."

Meanwhile, you're left confused and possibly devastated. The term chemical pregnancy sounds like a false positive pregnancy test, as if you were not really pregnant at all. But the truth is that a chemical pregnancy was indeed a conception and is actually a very early miscarriage.

The term chemical pregnancy means that the miscarriage happened at a point that a missed period and biochemical tests, such as an hCG blood test or a home pregnancy test (checking hCG in urine), were the only evidence that you were pregnant. The miscarriage happened before an ultrasound could have shown a gestational sac.

Doctors believe that chemical pregnancies happen for the same reasons as most other miscarriages –- probably because of chromosomal abnormalities in the developing baby. It is hard to know for sure what causes these early miscarriages, however, because it is nearly impossible to retrieve any samples for chromosomal testing.

In many cases, chemical pregnancy might put you in a weird situation from a grieving perspective. Some women don’t feel very sad over chemical pregnancies, whereas others are completely devastated emotionally. People in your life might not recognize the validity of your loss, insisting that you are wrong to grieve because it happened too early for you to get attached to the pregnancy or that “it wasn’t a real baby.”

Regardless of what anyone says, a miscarriage is a miscarriage. You do not have to justify your grief or compare it to anyone else’s grief for it to be valid.A chemical pregnancy was still a pregnancy, and for many women, it’s still a loss of a baby and grief that will always they will carry for their entire lives.


Also found this on BellaOnline: "If you have this type of miscarriage, you may not have even known you were pregnant or you might have only just found out that you were pregnant. Despite this, a chemical pregnancy is still a miscarriage and can still be a very painful loss. People may try to reassure you by saying “Oh it's not so bad, you were barely even pregnant.” You will probably not require any medical intervention (D&C etc.) for this early loss, although a few women do. Regardless, you should respect your loss and go through the grieving process as you need to."

and also this from justmommies.com: Well meaning relatives and friends may try to ease your pain by reminding you that because the baby wasn’t fully developed yet, you shouldn’t feel bad. However it will only do you more harm than good if you try and ‘get over it’ without acknowledging the sadness you have every right to feel.



Anyway, all of this information is what made me realize it's okay to be sad. I'm not all depressed over it and dwelling on it everyday. I'm not asking for sympathy from anyone.. a little understanding, maybe, but not sympathy. and I'm certainly not comparing what I went through to anyone else's experience. I KNOW that what I went through was NOT as traumatic as someone who miscarried further into their pregnancy and I will never tell them "i know how you feel" because I dont. However, I also know that what I went through was enough of an upsetting experience to give me a bad day now and then. I get a little sad when I think about how far along I would be right now, had I not miscarried. The "I'm just angry" blog was the first time I opened up and let out my emotions since it happened. Until then, I felt like I didnt have the right to be sad, but I realize that's bullcrap. I have every right to be sad and hopefully everyone understands that. That blog was just me venting about the fact that I was sad I lost our baby and sad that we won't have the opportunity to try again until May.. due to my husband's deployment. I'm not actually angry at the Marine Corps and I'm not angry with my husband by any means. I'm proud of him and what he's doing. He plans on being a lifer and I plan on supporting him no matter how rough the road gets. We knew that plans would get changed and things wouldnt always work out the way we wanted them to, but that doesn't mean we aren't allowed to take a step back and think "well, that kinda sucks" now and then. We understand that bitching and venting won't change anything, but it sure makes me feel better to get it out of my system! Writing that blog and letting emotions out made me feel a lot better, so I'm glad I posted it. If I offended anyone along the way, I apologize, but hopefully everyone understands it all a little better now.